Well, today sucked dick. Just a lot of unnecessary shit happened but things are now beginning to get back into order. I’m just going to lay here and listen to music for the rest of my night and clear my head. It’s the start of a new month today and I am going to try and make the best of it. If you have a problem with that…fuck off and remove yourself from my life. Okay, bye.
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I’ve decided I’m going to start using this shit again, I don’t care if anyone reads it or not but it will probably be a beneficial way to just re-cap on my day. Well anyway, this whole past week has been pretty fucking awesome. I got to be in a Madball video shoot and saw Sheer Terror, Breakdown, Stigma, and The Rival Mob for free. I also have been occupying myself in productive ways that will hopefully start picking up sooner than later. I’m stoked to see where things go with this. I feel like I am finally starting to get my priorities together and am generally happy about it. But as happy as I am about that, there is still that one thing that I strive for that just wont seem to find me. I don’t know why it’s so difficult to find but I’m just gonna keep my head up hope for the best.
Sitting outside on the driveway of the new apartment I have been sleeping at for the past 3 weeks since I got kicked out of my house. It hasn’t hit me until now that I will never spend another night in the house I grew up in. How I will hardly ever see my own mother, my two half brothers or even my two annoying ass dogs. Its pretty sad to really see what it is you have become and how simple little mistakes in your life really do effect who you become. Now I live here, can’t get in to college, have no job, no girlfriend, no money to even eat. I’ve failed myself in ways I never even thought possible. Fuck these realizations.
It’s an odd feeling when you wake up in the morning and fully realize that if you were to look back at the past year and a half of your life, you would see nothing but wasted time spent on a immature liar. I’m proud to say I’m over it. I needed to grow up and lately of done a lot of it. Yeah, I still fuck around a lot but that’s who I am. But never again will I let a “significant other” break down my morale to enjoy my life.
Getting ready and going to get lunch with Danny, Lauren, Nick Leader, and Tom Burkland. Good start to my day! If only Mario was my friend right?
I had a very good day yesterday with very good people. I’m very proud of myself for proving that I can be the bigger person by avoiding a situation I knew would have caused a problem. I realized its better to be somewhere in a good mood than somewhere that trouble is bound to happen. Now I’m just laying around waiting to go get lunch with Mario, that is, if he calls….